"Myth: Circumcision is an important tradition that has been going on forever."
"Reality check:
In the United States, circumcision wasn't popularized until Victorian
times, when a few doctors began to recommend it to prevent children from
masturbating. Dr. Kellogg (of Corn Flakes fame) advocated circumcision
for pubescent boys and girls to stop masturbation:
"A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is
circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. The
operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an
anæsthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a
salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the
idea of punishment...
In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid
to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal
excitement" (Kellogg 1877). Circumcision caught on among the
sex-negative Victorians, but only wealthy parents could afford it. In
1932, only 31% of men were circumcised; this peaked around 85% in 1980,
and has been dropping ever since (Laumann 1997, Wallerstein 1980). Far
from an ancient tradition, it was only popular in post-war America;
think of it as "your parent's body mod.""
To read the whole article...and I would HIGHLY recommend it...Click Here.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
What this is all about
When one has different ideas from the mainstream ones of society, they have to expect negativity.
When I started writing publicly...11 long years ago...I wasn't prepared for the negativity. It doesn't matter what you do, when you do it or how well you do. People are going to find something to bitch about. In my case, it was being 18...a very naive 18...and having a baby. More or less on purpose, at that.
I had rose colored glasses the size of Texas. So the negativity that inevitably came was surprising. And hurtful. I actually credit the internet to making me realize that some people are just unreachable and aren't going to like you no matter what you do. It doesn't hurt anymore. It's annoying at times, especially when people miss the entire point of what you put in front of them...but so be it.
I don't write this stuff thinking that I'm going to change every single persons' mind who reads it. I'm not saying you are the most horrible, terrible parent in the world because you don't do the things I do.
I write for the people who are open to learning. Who are accepting and logical and can say "Hey, maybe that wasn't the best idea...I should probably learn more about this." Without immediately going into attack mode "OMG, YOU'RE CALLING ME A BAD MOTHER! OMG! YOU BITCH!".
Yeah, no. I'm not. Really. There is a difference between not understanding someone's choices and calling them a bad parent.
The tricky part here, is that it SEEMS as if I am attacking certain parenting choices because there are words used like "safer" and "better". But I really can't apologize if there is evidence, research and RESULTS saying that such-and-such is, in fact, better/safer. And what I want to say back to these people is this:
"So, you're saying that because YOU did it and nothing bad happened...EVERYONE should continue to do so?"
I would also like to point out that this is really, really illogical and is actually kind of dumb. Sorry. It's the truth.
Example:
"Smoking is bad for your health."
"Well, my grandpa smoked for 60 years and never got cancer."
So, the point is because your grandpa smoked and never got cancer...this proves that smoking is safe and nobody's going to get cancer?
I'm sure when all the new evidence was coming out about how harmful smoking was way back when, people reacted the same as they do to me and my posts..."But doctors said it was okay!" "I smoked through all my pregnancies and my kids are fine!"
Now, what do most people do when we see a pregnant woman smoking? "Ick, she should know better."
But once upon a time, everybody did it. So everybody accepted it. Herd logic.
Can you at least see where I'm trying to go with this?
Just because it hasn't happened to YOU...or someone close to you...doesn't mean it can't happen. This is the beauty of google, people....we have no excuse to live in a bubble anymore.
Example with parenting subject:
"You know, it's been shown that CIO has negative effects on a young baby."
"Eh, my older kid is fine."
OR
"So, did you know that putting the carseat on top of a shopping cart is unsafe? Babies have died!"
"I did it with my baby and she survived, so...."
Again, this is the mindset of, well...nothing happened to THAT child, so nothing will happened to the next one either. Or anybody else's, for that matter.
But, if I may ask a morbid question, what if you had your first child and started sleep training at 4,5 even 6 months...and said baby died. It has been documented, after all, that excessive crying can actually make their little bodies shut down. Would you, honestly, let any subsequent children CIO?
Why wait until it happens to you?
We could ask the same thing of so many subjects...car seats, circumcision, etc.
A big part of the reason why I write and post the stuff I do is because I know there are parents and future parents out there that just don't know. They accept the "old ways" as the "only ways" and they don't question it. But there is a percentage of them who are open to new ideas. Willing to educate themselves about these things.
I will be honest and say I do have a problem with people who look at the facts and the research and the evidence and still say "Well, my kid turned out okay, so all this is bullshit." What we all need to realize is that parenting is a lifelong learning experience. Things change and new evidence comes out all the time. The tricky part is keeping up with it. But we have to try, right? I mean, parenting is all about doing what's best for your kids...and if something comes out that has research based evidence saying "Hey, we got this wrong...this is a better way to go about things!", one would think most parents would stop and listen.
I'm not writing for the ones who are white knuckle-gripping onto their "BUT I DID IT AND THEY'RE FINE!" ideals. That's fine. I'm glad that you are so secure in your parenting that you don't feel the need to research and learn. I'm not one of those people.
I'm writing for the ones who are open to it. Who are looking around for answers that they might not have gotten from their pediatrician, mother-in-law, cousin, etc. Because I was one. I thought there was some unwritten list of rules about parenting and everybody did them and that was that. I am SO GLAD someone said "Hey, there are different ways of doing things." I'm grateful for the women who took a chance and said "Um...you know that's not the safest thing, right?"
I could have gotten angry. I could have cut them off and ended a friendship. But instead I said "Really? Can you tell me more?"
And if what I put out there helps even one person, it's worth it. All the complaining and the comments and the passive aggressive bitching....it's worth it.
And this is where my inner-asshole says "Come at me, bro."
Mostly because that phrase makes me giggle.
Carry on.
When I started writing publicly...11 long years ago...I wasn't prepared for the negativity. It doesn't matter what you do, when you do it or how well you do. People are going to find something to bitch about. In my case, it was being 18...a very naive 18...and having a baby. More or less on purpose, at that.
I had rose colored glasses the size of Texas. So the negativity that inevitably came was surprising. And hurtful. I actually credit the internet to making me realize that some people are just unreachable and aren't going to like you no matter what you do. It doesn't hurt anymore. It's annoying at times, especially when people miss the entire point of what you put in front of them...but so be it.
I don't write this stuff thinking that I'm going to change every single persons' mind who reads it. I'm not saying you are the most horrible, terrible parent in the world because you don't do the things I do.
I write for the people who are open to learning. Who are accepting and logical and can say "Hey, maybe that wasn't the best idea...I should probably learn more about this." Without immediately going into attack mode "OMG, YOU'RE CALLING ME A BAD MOTHER! OMG! YOU BITCH!".
Yeah, no. I'm not. Really. There is a difference between not understanding someone's choices and calling them a bad parent.
The tricky part here, is that it SEEMS as if I am attacking certain parenting choices because there are words used like "safer" and "better". But I really can't apologize if there is evidence, research and RESULTS saying that such-and-such is, in fact, better/safer. And what I want to say back to these people is this:
"So, you're saying that because YOU did it and nothing bad happened...EVERYONE should continue to do so?"
I would also like to point out that this is really, really illogical and is actually kind of dumb. Sorry. It's the truth.
Example:
"Smoking is bad for your health."
"Well, my grandpa smoked for 60 years and never got cancer."
So, the point is because your grandpa smoked and never got cancer...this proves that smoking is safe and nobody's going to get cancer?
I'm sure when all the new evidence was coming out about how harmful smoking was way back when, people reacted the same as they do to me and my posts..."But doctors said it was okay!" "I smoked through all my pregnancies and my kids are fine!"
Now, what do most people do when we see a pregnant woman smoking? "Ick, she should know better."
But once upon a time, everybody did it. So everybody accepted it. Herd logic.
Can you at least see where I'm trying to go with this?
Just because it hasn't happened to YOU...or someone close to you...doesn't mean it can't happen. This is the beauty of google, people....we have no excuse to live in a bubble anymore.
Example with parenting subject:
"You know, it's been shown that CIO has negative effects on a young baby."
"Eh, my older kid is fine."
OR
"So, did you know that putting the carseat on top of a shopping cart is unsafe? Babies have died!"
"I did it with my baby and she survived, so...."
Again, this is the mindset of, well...nothing happened to THAT child, so nothing will happened to the next one either. Or anybody else's, for that matter.
But, if I may ask a morbid question, what if you had your first child and started sleep training at 4,5 even 6 months...and said baby died. It has been documented, after all, that excessive crying can actually make their little bodies shut down. Would you, honestly, let any subsequent children CIO?
Why wait until it happens to you?
We could ask the same thing of so many subjects...car seats, circumcision, etc.
A big part of the reason why I write and post the stuff I do is because I know there are parents and future parents out there that just don't know. They accept the "old ways" as the "only ways" and they don't question it. But there is a percentage of them who are open to new ideas. Willing to educate themselves about these things.
I will be honest and say I do have a problem with people who look at the facts and the research and the evidence and still say "Well, my kid turned out okay, so all this is bullshit." What we all need to realize is that parenting is a lifelong learning experience. Things change and new evidence comes out all the time. The tricky part is keeping up with it. But we have to try, right? I mean, parenting is all about doing what's best for your kids...and if something comes out that has research based evidence saying "Hey, we got this wrong...this is a better way to go about things!", one would think most parents would stop and listen.
I'm not writing for the ones who are white knuckle-gripping onto their "BUT I DID IT AND THEY'RE FINE!" ideals. That's fine. I'm glad that you are so secure in your parenting that you don't feel the need to research and learn. I'm not one of those people.
I'm writing for the ones who are open to it. Who are looking around for answers that they might not have gotten from their pediatrician, mother-in-law, cousin, etc. Because I was one. I thought there was some unwritten list of rules about parenting and everybody did them and that was that. I am SO GLAD someone said "Hey, there are different ways of doing things." I'm grateful for the women who took a chance and said "Um...you know that's not the safest thing, right?"
I could have gotten angry. I could have cut them off and ended a friendship. But instead I said "Really? Can you tell me more?"
And if what I put out there helps even one person, it's worth it. All the complaining and the comments and the passive aggressive bitching....it's worth it.
And this is where my inner-asshole says "Come at me, bro."
Mostly because that phrase makes me giggle.
Carry on.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
FANTASTIC article - "The Second Nine Months: Exterogestation and the need to be held"
Click to Read
HIGHLY recommended and PLEASE share. Very in depth and research based. Love!!
An excerpt:
"Gestation Outside of the Womb- “Exterior Gestation”
Simple observation of a newborn clarifies her helpless nature. She needs warmth and nourishment. She cannot move herself away from danger and cannot use words to communicate her needs. She is challenged to use her nervous system to figure out space and her relationship to it, to breathe by herself, to circulate oxygen and nutrients to her entire body; to eat, digest, and eliminate. It is clear that the newborn goes through a transformation that does not occur instantly but gradually lasting most of the first year of her life. During this time the infant must be carried everywhere. She has a long way to go before she can even somewhat manage for herself.
In his book Touching, The Human Significance of the Skin, Dr Ashley Montagu talks of the importance of the mother-baby relationship after the baby has already been born. He describes the relationship between the two as “naturally designed to become even more intensive and interoperative after birth” than while the baby was gestating or growing in the womb (Montagu, 1988, 75).
“Birth no more constitutes the beginning of the life of the individual than it does the end of gestation. Birth represents a complex and highly important series of functional changes which serve to prepare the newborn for the passage across the bridge between gestation within the womb and gestation continued out of the womb.” (Montagu, 1986, 57)
Human babies are born early out of necessity. Nurturing the baby in a manner that represents the intimacy of pregnancy as closely as possible until this “exterior gestation” is complete offers the baby the optimal environment for his immature systems. This means the baby should be in constant proximity to her mother, either in her mother’s arms or worn on her mother’s body with a piece of cloth or other baby carrier."
HIGHLY recommended and PLEASE share. Very in depth and research based. Love!!
An excerpt:
"Gestation Outside of the Womb- “Exterior Gestation”
Simple observation of a newborn clarifies her helpless nature. She needs warmth and nourishment. She cannot move herself away from danger and cannot use words to communicate her needs. She is challenged to use her nervous system to figure out space and her relationship to it, to breathe by herself, to circulate oxygen and nutrients to her entire body; to eat, digest, and eliminate. It is clear that the newborn goes through a transformation that does not occur instantly but gradually lasting most of the first year of her life. During this time the infant must be carried everywhere. She has a long way to go before she can even somewhat manage for herself.
In his book Touching, The Human Significance of the Skin, Dr Ashley Montagu talks of the importance of the mother-baby relationship after the baby has already been born. He describes the relationship between the two as “naturally designed to become even more intensive and interoperative after birth” than while the baby was gestating or growing in the womb (Montagu, 1988, 75).
“Birth no more constitutes the beginning of the life of the individual than it does the end of gestation. Birth represents a complex and highly important series of functional changes which serve to prepare the newborn for the passage across the bridge between gestation within the womb and gestation continued out of the womb.” (Montagu, 1986, 57)
Human babies are born early out of necessity. Nurturing the baby in a manner that represents the intimacy of pregnancy as closely as possible until this “exterior gestation” is complete offers the baby the optimal environment for his immature systems. This means the baby should be in constant proximity to her mother, either in her mother’s arms or worn on her mother’s body with a piece of cloth or other baby carrier."
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